108 Mandalas of Love

(A Twin Flame’s Journey)


~ The Inspiration ~

I’ve given and continue to give and surrender to “Love” every moment of every day.  I dedicate my life to it.  I pray every day, each moment that every particle of my being is the vibration of pure, pristine, Divine/Universal love. 

I’ve been on the path of the heart for about 30 years since I met my spiritual teacher, Dolores Hand, in my early teens.  Yet, I’m continually surprised by and in awe of the power, the magic, the wisdom, the unconditional compassion, and unending capacity the heart has to hold everything in absolute stillness.  It’s truly mind-boggling.  The essence of the heart, what resides at the core is love. 

By surrendering to the heart, I’ve been blessed with many experiences of blissful, joyous, out of this world kind of experiences of love.  But, something unexpected happened between February and March of this year (2016).  I came to the realization that I had never truly experienced real love until now.  Not real true love.  Wow, what a humbling experience, in the most amazing way.  I’m still humbled by it.  Humbled by that realization, humbled by love, and humbled by the realization that true love really is a never-ending discovery, a never-ending new experience.  It’s something that can be discovered freshly in every moment.  And, in any moment it has the capacity to leave me awestruck, baffled, astonished and astounded.  

This true love that I’m speaking of isn’t a feeling that comes and goes.  It’s not something that has a beginning or an ending.  It’s not something that can be explained, categorized, rationalized, or has reason, although it embraces all of these things.  The love I’m referring to is space.  It’s home.  It’s the very essence of what gives life to every particle of my being.  It’s the force that makes my heart beat.  It’s the source of all inspiration, the force that expresses that inspiration, and is the inspiration all at the same time.  It’s my purpose for being.  It’s the source that created me.  It’s the Master that I humbly bow to, surrender to, serve and pray to serve.

What instigated this even deeper, brand new experience of love and new revelations of love?  An unexpected, Divinely orchestrated brief encounter with my “twin flame.”

To tell you the truth, I didn’t know what a twin flame was until I met her.  I had probably heard the word before and maybe somewhere along my spiritual path had heard people speak of it, but never understood it until now.  I was more familiar with the term “soulmate” or “soul family” (which is a special relationship you have with more than one soul), but “twin flame” (which is a unique relationship) was not a term that came into my consciousness or awareness.  I’m still discovering what it means and my sense is that it’s just as love is; it has no end to its discovery.

You can probably find a definition of twin flame if you search the internet, but the following is my experience...  Twin flames came from one light from the Divine creator and split into two souls.  They share the same vibrational light pattern with one soul being the positive or Divine masculine aspect and the other being the negative or Divine feminine aspect, regardless of the gender of the physical body.  The main purpose of meeting as human beings is to remind each other of who we really are as Divine beings.

When I met my twin, although I had no idea she was my twin at the time, all I could see was a blinding white light.  The light was so bright, I had difficulty seeing her physical presence.  To this day, in my memory, I barely see a body, only light and her eyes.  I remember looking into her eyes and a voice inside me said, “I’m seeing Divinity through her eyes.”  In other words, I was seeing and experiencing the Divine Presence projected out of her eyes.  Behind those eyes was/is the presence of God.

The following day I slowly began to realize who she was.  At first, I thought she was my soul mate.  Then in one of my meditations I saw the light of my heart.  I looked up and saw a beam of light from my heart head straight up to a bright light source.  There was another beam coming down from that light, which ended in her heart.  I understood that we both came from one light source.  I supposed that this is how we all are.  Every one of us connected to, coming from, comprised of, and held by one light source.  The next day, in my meditation, I saw the same light from our heart with the beam of light and this time our lights approached each other and merged.  I was in bliss.  It felt like I was uniting with the Divine.

Then, a few days later, I met someone who told me his understanding of what a twin flame is and what a soul mate is.  That’s when I realized she was my twin flame, not just a soul mate.  His description was exactly what I had seen in my meditations.

I don’t know what others experience, but  it’s been almost 9 months since our meeting and I’m still having new discoveries.  I’m still in awe of each and every one with overflowing gratitude in my heart.  And there are moments when the mind is in disbelief, especially at the beginning, but the energy in my heart, the intensity of my experiences, and the visions are not something that my limited mind can make up.  It’s beyond any logic.  And anytime I ask for a confirmation, it always comes back as, “Yes, this is real.”  “This is true.”

You know.  This journey of self discovery, self realization, spiritual awakening is such a mystery.  Actually, I’ve never consciously set out to have any spiritual experiences.  I’ve never had any desires for any kind of spiritual powers.  All I’ve ever wanted was to be love, to serve love, to know love, to give my life to love, to share love, to express love, to experience love, to hold the world in love, to see the world as love, to surrender to love, etc...  Somehow, miraculously, that heart’s desire attracted the perfect reflection of love to show me I AM that love.  I AM that which I’ve always desired. 

It’s so much easier, at least it has been for me, to see love “out there.”  That everything and everyone is love.  That the world is made of light.  That each soul is a beautiful being of light.  But, with all the doubts, lack of self worth, lack of self confidence, self depreciation, self denial, self betrayal, self judgment, and the list goes on and on, it’s been quite a challenge to experience myself as love, as light, as Divine.  To assume that I am also, although difficult has been possible.  To logically deduce that I am has also been possible.  But to realize it...  To experience it...  To see it...  Wow!  It has taken the universe sending a being of light before me that has the same soul frequency, that I recognized as myself, that I recognized as Divinity to go, “Wow!  That’s me!”  “That light is the same as my light!”   

Now, here I am.  In awe.  Humbled.  Astounded.  And utterly grateful.  I see the beautiful light that she is and experience that as who I AM.  Divine light.  Divine source.  Divinity.  I’m so grateful.

So...  The purpose of the twin seems to be to remind one of his/her true self as a Divine being beyond a shadow of a doubt.  To be a beacon of that light to guide one another home to this truth.  I believe that this is true for all of us regardless of if we are soul mates, soul family, or twin flames.  We’re here to remind each other of our true essence as a radiant being of light with infinite potential and power.  Imagine a world where each of us just focused on being the radiant light that we already are, focused on being a reflection of that to all we meet, and openly shared our inner beauty with one another.  Imagine a world where we only saw each other as beautiful, precious aspect of the one source.  Where whatever physical shell we were wearing didn’t matter because our unique light was shining right through it.

So, regardless of whether I ever physically meet my Divine counterpart again, I will do my very best to do my part in shining my light as brightly as I can so that she, you, and whoever else is ready, willing, and open, will find their/your way home to the truly magnificent being of light, of love, that they/you are. 

May every being remember his/her brilliance.  May every being discover true peace and happiness.  And may these mandalas fill each and every being’s heart with Divine Love.

In deepest gratitude...   November 11th, 2016